On our Mother’s Day sermon, our pastor reminded us of how modern age perception has distorted our views of what the role model mother is. And how we should refer to the Scriptures on the true definition.
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Proverbs 31:10
Here’s my view. Whether the media and Hollywood wants to admit it or not, they have shaped this distorted modern day view. And here goes:
A successful, role model mum does not just wear an apron at home making the best meals for their children, providing for the household and ensuring everyone is well fed (including her own self). The modern day successful mum:
1. is juggling between a high-flying career and soccer mum duties, like it is possible to do both perfectly. Let’s just accept that it is an impossibility.
2. looks unrealistically supermodel-like and hits the gym 5 times a week (thanks to the rise of juice diets and workout plans that have exploded in the past 10 years, easy access to plastic surgery, etc.) Not to mention there’s a race on who can lose all her baby weight the quickest post-birth.
3. has a nanny to help because the double household income will allow for that. Or for those without help, refer to point 1 again.
4. looks immaculate and chants ‘positivity’ as her mantra. Yes, everyday. Where is the social empathy of ‘sharing’ and empathy on women’s support? Oh sorry, wrong answer. Society nowadays condones sharing of issues and slams that as being weak. No wonder there is all this suppressed bitterness, passive-aggressive comparison and disingenuous concern in mothers circles! How many times I’ve had a friend simply voice an opinion in a Whatsapp Group chat only to be immediately compared with her worse-off friend? Honey, she’s not asking you how bad your situation is. Save your ‘at least you….’ for your husband, please! Women, we are here to support one another. Pray for your friend! Hear her out! Give her an emoji hug! Whatever you do, please skip the ‘Oh, at least you…..’ We are reminded that in God’s eyes, we are all the same. Sorry, clearly this is a very sticking point for me. So, moving on…
5. have kids who are well-groomed, sent to the best schools…all because the mum did the most research and sacrificed her dignity or pre-pregnancy vitamins for the school entry fees. Either that, or she flaunts her own social status through her child’s education privileges.
I suspect the points in discussion here require dedication and I do not underestimate that. But it also comes with sacrifice. Often, subliminally, at the expense of your relationship with your child(ren), husband and family. The devil always has ways to justify why we should strive for those things. Perhaps we could hone in the same level of effort to strive for real beauty?
I could harp on forever and I should really stop on the sarcasm. But that word vomit was necessary. Far too often, I find myself being a culprit. I wonder how many women will fess up to falling into that category of somewhat striving to be what the modern age successful mum looks like.
Well, I do. I wave the white flag. I do. I surrender. Because, what defines a woman’s worth is not her charm nor vanity. It is the inner beauty, the genuine kind intent, the real sacrifices that she makes for her children, family, friends and others that we should value.
Let this post pause you for a moment. Even for a minute. Let’s reflect and make for better role models and create a better place for our children.
Lord Jesus, I confess I sin with most if not all of the above. Every day, I strive to avoid fitting into the pressures and distorted views of modern age definitions. Please give me strengths, grace, love and patience to overcome the temptations.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30