Confessions of a Life-Coachee

I’ve successfully completed my first life-coaching program and I’m so grateful to Jesus for dragging me onto this path when I wasn’t ready.  After the first session of this program, I already knew  I was called into it.  Fideliz Cruz, my dearest sister-in-Christ, is God-send.  Through her, the Lord gave me answers to questions that I didn’t want to ask.  He gave answers to unanswered questions.  It’s my pleasure and obligation to share this journey with you here.

Whenever I told people that I was getting life coached, they would literally raise their eyebrows.  Some with perplexed looks, others with skepticism and a small number who flat out thinks it’s a joke.

If you’re a life coach, please don’t take offence as you read on. For the record, you people are gifted, chosen and totally worth the investment.  However, I think the general perception of this increasingly popular career seems to met with ‘skepticism’ and ‘hesitation’.  Admittedly, I speak from experience.

If you ask me why, I think it’s because humans are inherently arrogant or self-righteous, to say the least. They are unwilling to hand over their arrogance and accept that they need an external, skilled person to help them tunnel their vision towards their REAL goals.

From my own surveying, it seems that the older the generation, the deeper the frown and skepticism when asked if he/she would invest in a life coach.

Baby boomers seem to be the most dismissive of such expertise (although they all seem to act like a life coach of some sort themselves.) The Gen X’s are working too hard to even bother.  Gen Y’s are probably the most receptive and open-minded to being coached.  The Millenials are just all Life Coaching each other.

I’m a Gen Y. But a frugal one.  Although I would fit into a life coach’s typical target audience,  it’s not easy to sell me ANYTHING.  Life coaching would be far down the list of things I would dream to invest in.  But it was God’s path for me.   The way Fideliz intercepted my life and how I bit the bullet into life coaching is Divine intervention.  I’ll save that story for if and when you and I to meet face to face.

The impacts of my life coaching program are HUGE.  Not little.  HUGE. And real.

Here were the 3 goals that Fideliz help me come up with and baby, did I score!

GOAL ONE – “Building a ministry that glorifies God, blessing me with an overwhelming sense of fulfilment”

From the first session where I wasn’t sure where I wanted to take Holy Yoga or where Holy Yoga was going to take me, I came out of the program having a solid goal, direction and upcoming business plan.  I’m so excited about this wellness centre that I even came up with a Mission Statement, “Feeding the mind, body and soul with God’s love through wellness and fitness services for spiritual women.

GOAL TWO – “Finding peace & comfort in my relationships & my success, empowering me to live in security & acceptance.”

I didn’t realise how much my daily personal relationships were shaping my goals, my vision and the way I act and react.  Having Fideliz guide me through those relationships, I had a new perspective and developed new techniques to manage relationship blockages in my life.  Most importantly, Fideliz gave me spiritual guidance and pointed back to Scripture (Ecclesiastes 3) on the seasons of life – when to nurture, when to let go.   On managing relationships, I learnt a beautiful technique – ‘nice girl’ vs ‘mean girl’ dialogue.  This technique required me to dig deep into problematic voices  I hear from certain relationships (aka ‘mean girl’ voice) and meeting those voices with my ‘nice girl’ voice.  I literally created a table like this one below:

MEAN GIRL KIND GIRL
[ACCUSATION] You were such a rebel.  You’re like an animal, can’t be tamed. That’s not true.  I accept that this is how it made you feel but I would love of us to walk around this stumbling block and move forward together, not allowing this to impact our future relationship.
[GUILT]  You didn’t reach out and care for your friends (even though you already know it’s a one-way situation) You tried your best, Jo.  There is a time of peace. [Ecclesiastes 3]
[HURTFUL] I wished you enjoyed being a stay-at-home mum.  I guess I’ll have to come to terms with not marrying that type of woman. I am good enough.  God has created a unique me.  I would make for a lousy someone else.  He wants me to be me and use my gifts to serve.  My gift may not be the ‘stay at home mum’ but I am certainly gifted in areas that I will serve in His Glory.

Lastly, I didn’t realise that I’d been carrying my resentment from years ago.  Fideliz gave me the courage and compassion to face those emotions.  Some of which were to grieve over losses of dreams that I would never be able to live.  Grieving was hard but it was required to find  closure and move on in positive light.   I came to realise that grieving is not limited to the loss of loved ones but even ones dreams.

GOAL THREE – “Floating around adventurously, dancing in freedom, happiness & love”

From there, Fids was gifted in helping me realise that my current life and lifestyle wasn’t so far off from the drivers of my dreams.  The reasons for my dreams and the emotional elements of my ‘shattered dream’ could still and is actually being fulfilled on a daily basis.  It was just that I need to stitch together my fragmented and disillusioned puzzles of my ‘dream’ and make them come true in other ways.  What manifested what a ‘self-love’ manual where I put down the ‘goals of my dreams’ into every day, practical examples.  Before I knew it, I was loving life already.  More so than ever before. I’m unstoppable now!

And here’s how this self-love manual manifested itself…something like this.  The WHEN is not real but you get the point!

— WHAT — 
— FREQUENCY— 
— WHEN —
Practice Holy Yoga
3 times a week
Mon, Wed, Fri
1 full day “me-time”
Weekly
Mon
Date night with hubby
Weekly
Tue
Family day
Weekly
Sat
Personal Growth & Development time
Monthly
1st Tue of every month
Girls night out dinner
Monthly
Last Thu of every month
Pamper Treatment
Monthly
Last Sat of every month
Travel getaway
Yearly
Eat healthy & feel good
Constant
So, why a life-coach?  Because they are trained.  Fideliz made a good point. She’s not God.  She does not have the answers.  God does and most of the time, we do.  Her job is not to answer the questions but to bring out the answers inside us or help us find the answers ourselves.  I describe it as the loose puzzle pieces or gold coins that are trapped inside a transparent glass piggy bank.  You know it’s there, you may even see them.  To access them, you need someone to smash the piggy bank for you and put the puzzle pieces together.  That driving force of the hammer IS the LIFE COACH.
Whether you are struggling to find purpose in life or whether you’re a go-getter with goals stuck on your vision board already, this is my recommendation.  Next time you meet a life coach you can connect with, give it your time and thought on investing in yourself.  Not investing in them.  Investing in yourself.  Because the returns of the breaking that piggy bank is worth it.
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