You Become What You Love


This has been ringing in my ears since the past Sunday’s sermon delivered by Pastor Brett Glover. It has provoked deep thinking and sustained a good reminder for my week.

Essentially, it’s human inclination to lean towards what you love. We are fearfully and wonderfully created for worship. But if we aren’t careful with what we choose to love, and eventually worship, we may find ourselves trapped in meaningless ways. 

Of course, not everything is meaningless but there is truth in the saying, where your love of something steers your priority in life. It becomes your natural priority compass. 

“If you love alcohol, you will become a drunk.”

“If you love money, you will become materially possessed.”

“If you love work, you will become a workaholic.” 

Makes me ponder how deeply rooted my love is for Christ and His teachings and whether I love it enough to ALWAYS choose Him…. 

What do YOU love the most?

 ūüć©,ūüć∑, ūüíį,ūü§łūüŹĽ‚Äć‚ôÄÔłŹ, ūü§≥ūüŹľ, ? Or ‚úĚÔłŹ?
 #soulfoodforthought

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Throw Away Your Health Goals, please!

Have you ever:
1. said to someone, “I’m on a diet”?
2. typed this into Google “how to lose weight in 5 days..”

Google Search -Lose Weight

3. have you looked at Before and After photos and thought, “yeah, I want to try that workout.”?
4. have you wished you enjoyed working out or was more athletic like that girl back in high school?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of them, then we have something in common and in this post I want to share with you something that changed my life. ¬†I talk about it a lot in themes of my blog but probably not enough.

It’s literally throwing away setting ‘health goals’. It’s veering away from ‘I can do it’ with willpower. ¬†It’s replacing this model of being a ‘goal-kicking achiever’ to being ‘willing’. ¬†And then? No, ‘and then..’. ¬† Yup, that’s it. ¬†Just being ‘willing’.

This was how I started my talk at a recent workshop – Vision Casting & Life Strategies run by Fideliz Cruz.

I vividly recall the look in the audiences faces as I introduced this new concept of not having to ‘rely on your own willpower’ ¬†(not ALONE anyways) and replacing this concept with ‘faith’ and ‘willingness’. ¬†There were confused faces, skeptical faces and raised eyebrows. ¬†Until I showed them this….and then people¬†were interested in what changed my life.

WillingnessOverWillpower

The left was when I was pregnant (I tried to find photos of post-pregnancy but I couldn’t find any. Surprise! And frankly it doesn’t make a difference because I looked practically the same) and the right was when my first born was 1 years old.

I was¬†filled¬†with willpower to lose my 25 kilos. ¬†And I did it. ¬†You see, I eat willpower for breakfast. ¬†In fact, it’s my biggest enemy. ¬†Because of this false sense of security, aka willpower, I have suffered from bulimia, anorexia, depression, anxiety and ended up in hospital many times in my life. ¬†But at least twice¬†for suicidal attempts.

My experience has told me that ‘willpower’ and kicking ‘health goals’ doesn’t sit quite right. ¬†I’m sure some can relate, and others are like, “I kinda prefer to have your willpower.” And perhaps you sit on the other end of the spectrum, where you dream of your goals and never seem to be able to achieve them.

This is where I fault the system.  Relying on willpower sucks.

Willingness, on the other hand, is powerful. ¬†It’s not judgemental. ¬†It’s kinder. ¬†It fits well for those who kick goals and those who don’t do so well with goals. ¬†Either ways, we’re trying. ¬†You can’t fail if you’re still trying, right?

Now, of course the questions is then, willingness to ‘what?’ ¬† I can’t answer that question for you but it must be something that is greater than your own being. ¬†It must be sustainable. ¬† Mothers can relate to this easily. ¬†You are willing to sacrifice your needs for your children.

For me, it’s surrendering my willpower to control, to change things, to do things in My plan, My time, ¬†My will ….to God. ¬†You saw it coming, didn’t you?

Yup, here I am preaching again. ¬†And get this. ¬†I do it not because there is any specific gain. ¬†It’s not a goal I’m kicking. ¬† I preach because my life has changed since I’ve really picked up the cross and followed Jesus. ¬†And I passionately feel it to share with you.

I’ve realised that He loves me in whatever shape, size or form I am. ¬†He loves me no matter how many goals I kick or not. ¬†There is no scoreboard. ¬†In fact, because He loves me so much, it doesn’t matter if I put on a kilo or two every now and then. ¬†He teaches me about balance and learning to love my body so that I am WILLING to treat my body with love and care. ¬†Bring on a juice detox and do it with joy! Bring on a degustation and eat it with joy! ¬†If you turn your eyes on Him, you’ll KNOW how important it is to stay healthy.

With this new lifestyle, I’m so thankful that my Vision is clear and my Lifestyle Strategy is rooted in a good place. ¬†Everything I do, I turn my eyes to God and really trust in His health plan for me. ¬†Not my own.

Today, if you’re wondering whether you could explore something different for your health goals,¬†take time to ponder¬†this verse from the Bible:

“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking,¬†but of righteousness, peace¬†and joy in the Holy Spirit,” ¬†~ Romans 17:14

Further to this, a genuine feeling of emptiness can sometimes be real and needs attention, too. Read more here.

 

Quitting Impression Management

 Today is day 2 of the #PrepareOurHeartsForAdvent Holy Yoga devotional.  See me #crescentlunge forward on my plight on this beautiful #HolyYoga journey.

It is also day 1 of my Bible reading plan on “Addicted To Busy: Recovery For The Rushed Soul” and the title is “Impression Management”. ¬†How apt.

“For everything in the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the of pride of life – comes not from the Father but from the world.” ~1 John 2: 16 (NIV)

For my friends who know me well, I have declared November as my ‘Social Sabbatical’. ¬†Some of my friends raise their eyebrows in disbelief, some with¬†concern (as if I’ve gone crazy!), some perplexed, some in mockery and a rare few who have supported and encouraged me with no judgement. ¬†It’s a funny exercise as I understand more about myself and of those truly understand me. ¬†It’s not a judgement of my friends but an assessment of a phenomenon. ¬†Either ways I am thankful to all my friends, laughing or empathising.

So, why this ‘Social Sabbatical’?

  1. Firstly, God knows I need rest and honour this temple [body] that God blesses me with. I talk about this a lot in my HoYo classes but frankly, I don’t practise it enough.
  2. Secondly, as any mum would know, life as a mother of two just gets more demanding with real responsibilities that is beyond just pleasing myself.
  3. Thirdly, the closer I have become to the Word, the more I have realised that I need to invest into living it out.  And that includes carving time out for it.  To read the Bible and spend time with the Lord.  Simple as that.
  4. I wanted to experiment¬†what it would be like to be able to have time to and for myself and if anything disastrous was going to happen if I didn’t fill up my calendar from 8am -8pm.
  5. Lastly, I wanted to ‘prepare my heart for Christmas’; to create mindspace to soak in, muse over and digest the importance of the birthday of our Saviour.

I am now almost two thirds into my Social Sabbatical.  What have I learnt?

  1. ¬†Not all friends appreciate it, nor understand it. ¬†That’s ok..I¬†had to push past people’s judgement and learnt to accept that I am here to please God, not man.
  2. For someone so extroverted as I am, it’s almost impossible to have a true “Social Sabbatical”. ¬†Realistically, just keeping my weekdays free is a good start! ¬†Don’t be too ambitious.
  3. I am a self-diagnosed¬†sufferer of “Impression Management.” ¬†I’ve realised that I have a tendency and habit of making myself busy for the sake of making life appear productive, both to myself and to the world. ¬†If I have to be true to myself, it is Impression Management. ¬†Surely, if my schedule is packed from 8am – 8pm, I’m going to start to sound like Sheryl Sandberg, right? ¬†….Right?? .. ¬†How I measure my self worth hasn’t really been rooted in Christ. ¬†I have been conforming with the worldly¬†views of modern feminism. It is a confronting issue for me but I am facing it, even as I type now. ¬†I don’t know how I can resolve this issue immediately¬†but I know that this Sabbatical is a good start.
  4. Indeed, no one dies and nothing disastrous happens when I don’t fill up my calendar with a ‘To-do’ in every single minute. In fact, the more I surrender and let God guide my daily tasks, the more effective I become with prioritisation of key tasks.
  5. The Word stays True to itself. ¬†Indeed, the more I invest into it, the more peace and joy I get. ¬†Nothing has been more rewarding than taking the time to meditate, slow down, and focus on Jesus. ¬†When you invest time in a relationship, the relationship flourishes. ¬†It’s funny how God has made us this way and we totally get it when it comes to human relationships yet it’s a hard concept to understand when it comes to a relationship with our King. ¬†Funny, huh?

So far, I can say that the re-investment of finding time to ‘breathe’ and ‘being still’ have been the most rewarding. ¬†I hear God. ¬†I feel the Holy Spirit. I enjoy my prayer time.

“Rather, it should be that of the inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” ~1 Peter 3:4 (NIV)

Today, I will start letting go of my addiction to ‘Impression Management‘. ¬†I need to stop being a slave to ‘busyness’. ¬†It’s ok if I’m a ‘free’ person. ¬†Indeed, I am free in Christ. ¬†Now THIS is truly preparing my heart for advent.